Shifting “Boys Will Be Boys”: Research Program Highlights Detrimental Impact of “Boy Culture” on Youth Development

Way, N. (2024). Rebels With a Cause: Reimagining Boys, Ourselves, and Our Culture. Dutton.

Introduction

In an interview, developmental psychologist Niobe Way discussed her research, which addresses the detrimental impact of cultural norms on boys and young men. She highlights the profound effects of “boy” culture—a societal construct that prioritizes stereotypically masculine traits such as stoicism, independence, and cognitive over emotional intelligence.

Methods

Way’s discussed various research methodologies she has employed  when working with boys and young men in the United States and China, including:

• Qualitative Interviews: In-depth interviews with boys and young men to understand their emotional experiences and social interactions.
• Longitudinal Studies: Following participants over time to observe changes in their social and emotional development.
• Cross-Cultural Comparisons: Studying boys in different cultural contexts to identify universal versus culture-specific trends in their socio-emotional development.

Results

Way’s research reveals several interesting key findings:

1. Emotional and Relational Intelligence: Contrary to societal stereotypes, boys exhibit significant emotional and relational intelligence from a young age, challenging the notion that emotional sensitivity is a predominantly feminine trait.
2. Impact of “Boy” Culture: The cultural emphasis on “hard” traits over “soft” traits leads to emotional suppression and relational disconnection among boys. This culture fosters a preference for autonomy and cognitive achievements over emotional expression and mutual support.
3. Loneliness and Isolation: The disconnection fostered by “boy” culture contributes to high levels of loneliness and isolation in boys and men. Many report having fewer close friends and feeling alienated in their relationships, exacerbating mental health issues such as depression and anxiety.
4. Cultural Contradictions: Boys recognize the societal expectations to suppress their emotions and the stigmatization that comes with showing vulnerability. This awareness often leads to internal conflicts and stress.

Discussion

Way’s findings underscore the need for a cultural shift to address the emotional and relational needs of boys and men. Specifically she advocates for normalizing boys emotional expression by encouraging boys to express their feelings openly and validating this as a normal part of being human. She also highlights the need to redefine maturity, moving from self-sufficiency to the ability to form and maintain mutually supportive relationships.

“What I’m proposing is not just a sweeping ‘let’s change the culture'”, says Way. “I’m actually proposing a very specific reimagining of the way we engage with each other using our natural intelligence… [and] I have total optimism this will happen—this cultural change—because we already have the skills to do it.”

Implications for Mentors

• Mentor Training programs may want to consider teaching skills to encourage boys emotional expression, normalize relationship struggles that may be occurring in the context of friendships, and address harmful stereotypes about masculinity and emotional expression.
• Mentors may further want to focus on modeling curiosity and empathy, especially in boy-boy mentoring matches.
• When supporting boy mentees with social difficulties, mentors may want to consider encouraging boys to engage in relationships that are based on mutual support and emotional sharing.

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