When Mentoring Ends: The Hidden Emotional Toll on Youth

/in , , /by

Keller, T. E., McCormack, M. J., Miranda-Diaz, M., Drew, A. L., & Spencer, R. (2025). “I wished I could have said bye”: Exploring youth reactions to formal mentoring relationship endings. Children and Youth Services Review, 179, 108594. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.childyouth.2025.108594

Introduction

Keller and colleagues (2025) explored the emotional impacts of mentoring relationship closures among youth. While mentoring is promoted as a supportive intervention for positive youth development, terminations, especially premature ones, can evoke profound emotional responses, particularly among vulnerable youth populations.

Methods

Keller and colleagues (2025) applied a mixed-methods design from 72 youth involved in Big Brothers Big Sisters programs whose mentoring matches had ended. Youth completed surveys 6–8 months post-closure, including adapted items from the Extended Grief Inventory and open-ended questions probing their feelings and wishes about the closure.

Results

Most youth reported disappointment or sadness about the closure. Open-ended responses reflected emotions ranging from confusion and hurt to abandonment. Approximately 30% of youth experienced indicators of traumatic grief, such as difficulty accepting the loss or increased loneliness. Many youth wished for better closure: clearer explanations, the chance to say goodbye, or for the relationship to continue.

Discussion

Findings reveal that mentoring relationships carry deep emotional weight, and their terminations can resemble attachment losses. Ambiguous or unexplained endings heightened distress. Keller and colleagues (2025) emphasizes the need for mentoring programs to prepare youth for closure, recognize grief responses, and provide emotional support post-match.

Implications for Mentoring Programs

Programs should develop structured closure protocols that ensure clear communication, facilitate goodbye opportunities, and provide follow-up support. A universal design approach to closure can prevent emotional harm and support positive relationship modeling for youth.

Read the full paper here.