“Brokering” is One of The Most Valuable Things You Can Do In 2025

By Jean Rhodes

Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.” — Anais Nin

Have you ever connected a young person with someone in your network? Such introductions hold the potential to profoundly shape youths’ identity, career development, and social mobility. They are the lynchpin for building social capital, and why chatbots will never outperform human coaches, mentors, or friends. It’s not what you know, it’s not even who you know–it’s who your contacts know!

And, as far back as the 1950’s, researchers have discussed the third person who are “brokers” of connections between new people. As sociologist Geog Simmel noted,  “Social life is constantly determined in its course by the presence of the third person.”

Such brokering is particularly important for more marginalized youth, who face barriers to building networks. They often have limited access to professional mentors and networks, unfamiliarity with workplace norms, and fewer networking opportunities. There’s also the problem of connection hoarding. Research has shown the ways that affluent parents’ strategically reserve their social connections to help their own children gain college admissions, secure internships, provide insider knowledge for career advancement, and ensure a smooth transition into the workforce.

A study in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, showed how people shape others’ relationships through three different types of brokering. The research was led by Stanford University’s Nir Halevy and colleagues who wrote that

“Brokering is a fascinating social behavior. It permeates every aspect of social life; indeed, it may be the primary driver of change in social life.”

But, as they note, not all brokering is created equal. In addition to acting as an intermediary (connecting previously unlinked individuals) or being conciliatory (resolving conflicts to foster cooperation), brokers can also be divisive (intentionally gossiping and creating discord for personal gain). Each orientation has distinct implications for social capital:

• Intermediary behaviors create new ties between individuals, fostering collaboration and innovation. For example, introducing a mentee to a potential employer can open doors that were previously inaccessible.
• Conciliatory behaviors transform negative relationships into positive ones, enhancing trust and cohesion within networks.
• Divisive behaviors, while less constructive, highlight the darker side of brokering by undermining relationships for personal advantage.

The research team constructed and validated a 15 item Brokering Orientations Scale (BOS) to measure the 3 distinct dimensions of brokering behavior, with items like “Introduce people to each other at parties” (intermediary), “Help other people overcome misunderstandings” (conciliatory), and “Create tension between other people” (divisive). Perhaps not surprisingly, the three brokering orientations showed different relationships with moral character. Conciliatory brokering correlated positively with moral identity, while divisive brokering showed strong positive correlations with Machiavellianism.

Halevy, N., Halali, E., & Cohen, T. R. (2019). Brokering orientations and social capital: Influencing others’ relationships shapes status and trust. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.